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In my 26 years of living, I always assumed that internet greifers' would never get the better of me. Considering the hell I went through during puberty and the bullying that tormented me in school - I just always figured there was nothing anybody could say or do to me on the internet that would affect me in a negative way.
What I didnt count on, however, is that one of these very greifers' that seem to adorn every corner of the internet would be a member of my very own family.
After three whole years of avoiding the facebook fad, I gave in - and all because the rest of my family were raving about who said what. I felt left out and made my own page which I didn’t really pay much attention to.
It was fun at first, I got in a poking competition with my sister (If you've never been on facebook, that will sound so wrong) and triumphed my way to the top of the bejewelled leader boards. And then things started to creep in:
Comments on this and that the rest of the family thought. Some of them eyebrow-raising to say the least but nothing major or overly offensive. Until recently.
Having commented on a post of my elder sister on her wall, she abruptly replied "Well you should try and get a proper job and stop sponging off other people" - this being a reference to the fact I am finding it hard to find a job at the minute and currently taking care of my elderly parents.
She seems to be under the assumption that I live out of their pocket's - which is not the case at all - but she refuses to listen to reason.
I put the comment behind me; one-blip out of a life-time of sibling rivalry I suppose. But no - now all I get if I say ANYTHING on my facebook is a nasty comment from her saying exactly (spelling included:
"y dnt u try and get a proper job instead of F&#KIN spongin off other people??"
And it is nasty - do I like my inability to make money? Of course not. Do I want to be 26 years old and look after my parents? Do I fuck! But I have found myself to be quite stuck in this position I am in.
So the other day, when she happened to stop by with her children, I had her out about it. I asked her "Why do you say this? You know what I do and why I do it so why?"
She replied "Oh get a grip, it’s only the internet."
...
You all probably just laughed at that - because, in a sense, it is partly true, but as I opened this post talking about the fact I assumed a greifer would NEVER be able to say anything that affects me in a negative way; I never once imagined that my (MOST EDUCATED AND MATURE) sister would be the greifer.
I’m hurt. Incredibly and horribly so. And not just because she thinks that stuff of me, but because she thinks that just because she said it on the internet, I shouldn’t get so upset about it.
I tell you, all my readers, facebook has a lot to answer for when it comes to the family dynamic. And I ask; could you live your life comfortably knowing what is going on in the rest of your families’ heads?
I deleted my facebook account. That is my answer.
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Life, The Internet & Family
Labels:
Brother,
Facebook,
Family values,
Hate,
help me,
Life,
Sister,
the Internet,
Want to die
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