Somnium Erotica

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I had the weirdest sex-dream last night. I wont go into details but suffice to say, I didnt realise I found such acts a turn on. It has genuinely left me contemplating certin aspects of myself.

Perhaps it's the sleep deprivation?

More questions than answers!

Big & Annoying!

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Big-annoying day tomorrow! I have to get up at 7:30am to be ready for the electric people to come and rewire the entire house.

I just have this horrible gut-feeling that they're going to be aggressive-macho male-types who will take some morbid pleasure in complaining about me, to me.
I have to be on my A-game here. I have to be that guy who demands excellence. I have to be that guy I thought I had left behind; that guy who is all "Well it isnt fucking rocket-science, just get it done!"

Perhaps there is a strengh to being bossy and forward, but I would rather do with please and thank yous'.
On the plus side, im going to be sleepy (as im not a morning person AT ALL) and ergo, grumpy. I've noticed, during the mornings im awake, im more inclined to say what I think about a person with very little remorse for their feelings... untill late-afternoon.

So wish me luck world! And be kind! Im comming to get ya and there is sod all you can do about it!

A New Wave!

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Readers, re-direct all your positive thoughts to the people of Japan. That was one mighty-big earthquake to hit such a small place on the map.

Send them all the good energy you can muster.

KEEP ON ROCKIN' JAPAN!

Letting IT Go

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No, not the scary clown IT, but the big pink elephant in the metaphorical room in-my-head IT: My anger. My Rage. My anxiety. My compulsive need to feel justice... in ANY form.

I feel like I get wronged and I cannot let go until I have been "righted", until I feel I have been vindicated in some way or another. I need to let this go, I read in a health journel that it can have a detremental effect on your bowels.

I need to write more. I wrote a few interesting poems the other day; interestingly enough, I felt as if I had almost channelled them from somebody else - they just dont seem like something I would write.
I wonder if that is possible? ... A Midsummer night's dream was apparantly based on a OBE/Dream but they had Opium availible over the counter in those days.

At least I wrote something eh? I feel the urge to add /Writted/ on the end there. heh.

YAWN zZz

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I passed.

I really dont think I should have. I nearly collided with a bus (The ass didnt indicate as he pulled out!) and right after that, I nearly hit a woman who was far too interested in her smart phone to notice I was seconds from impact - the bitch had the gall to call me an asshole!

I really thought I had failed because my driving tutor has been drilling into me (figurativly-speaking) the importance of "Perception being the KEY to a GOOD driver", and in all of 7 minutes, I had managed to evaporate into my own little mind and nearly kill people.

I guess my driving instructor didnt really care or noticed the incompetence of the people around me?

Hm. A victory is still a victory.

And now I have a week to relax until I have to stand a week full of of workmen re-wiring the house. I feel so exhausted.

Sleep is where I dream.

*Grumble*

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Tomorrow I have to take that fucking Rite O' Passage again! Which means an early relaxing night, early to bed, early to rise, balanced breakfast (so I dont vomit on the way there) A good shower, sitting in the car waiting for the instructor, riding with the instrutor there, sitting with the instructor why I wait for another one.

I hate my instructor, I really do - he comes across as a bit of a letch when it comes to women. All he talks about (other than driving) is how cute Holly was or how amazing it was to teach Amanda, or how Amy was funny or how Jessica had an annoying laugh.

I wish I had breasts.

Send out some positive vibes for me please. Im going to need them.

If...

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I hate that word; If. As odd a word as it is to hate... I suppose the obvious choices would be "No" or "Dont" Or "Stop" - everything that applies when you really want to rape that good-looking stranger, but I digress - "If" annoys me.

"Why?!" I hear you squeal with clandestine-tones. Merely because it is a possibility. If is... something that COULD happen... something that COULD change. If is a thought-stream that travels from the causality-effect suburban-slip to the theoretical-causality highway, picking up hitchhikers of interest along the way.

If is... a possibility.

"So you hate possibilities?!" I hear, your confused voices giving me frown-face.

Yes. But only because I live in a world without them. This is my mind:

IF I had friends.

IF I had a job.

IF I had money.

IF IF IF.

Until my situation changes dramaticly (ROLL ON SATURDAY) I think I shall continue to rationally hate this word.