Zombies are NOT Monsters?

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Had my first zombie dream last night. I think its worth documenting.

The details are kinda vauge bcause to begin with but I remember it changing from something very serene into this horrible panic and need to run and hide.

There were 5 of us and we were in my house. The layout of my house is odd (weird stairs, you open your bedroom door and BOOM, steps!) and I told them to quickly follow me and hide with me in my room. They refused and rushed into an empty room.

This was odd to me, because my room had a bed and other materials in it, but the other room them ran into was barren but for a few empty boxes. I had to close the door though because, obviously, the zombies were comming so I did and I threw myself behind it.

I can remember them pushing with horrible force and there was this blind panic that I had to barricade the door closed. I began to think then that if I pulled my heavy stuff towards the door and just put it infront of it - all my heavy stuff - it might be enough.

This is where things get weird and very "dream magical-like" so even though it wont make sense, its because its a dream:

I piled everything I could infront of the door and waited for them to stop trying to push through - when it had been quiet for a while, I put my head to the floor and looked out of the bottom of the door to see if I could see feet - there were none - so I opened the door and shouted to the others if they were alright.

They told me that noise atracts zombies and to shut up so I tried to be quiet as I moved around to see what was happening and where they'd gone. Sure enough, the zombies heard me and came back so I had to run back to my room and close the door and again they tried to push it open, again I had the barricade idea (dream magic!) and after I while I looked again to see if anyone was outside.

A while passed in the dream (really it was an instant but it seemed like a while) when I heard a knock at the door. A nice gentle-rapping sound. I was so confused and I opened the door (dream magic! yay) and to my horror, a Zombie stood there - but it wasnt that fact he was there that scared me, it was the fact he looked a little more human - I remember thinking "Good God! They evole to look like humans!"

He put a hand on my shoulder and told me, in a very calm way, even though his face was angry, "You have to leave now. We dont want monsters here"

!!!

It was my very own "I Am Legend" - I become THEIR monster.

TERROR!

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I will keep this brief as I have a pretty interesting observation to share, but first!

I’ve decided that it is time to make a concise choice about which direction I want this blog to take (Is it a ranting page? Is it another celeb-wannabe party chaser? Etc) and I’ve decided to go with my very first idea but on a wider scale.

When I first started my blog over 2 years ago, I had a somewhat fantastic idea that it would be some amazing biography into my life and the way I live – it quickly turned into an emo-shithole.

Instead, I’m going to try and focus on the human-“species” as a whole and surrounding emotions and possibilities/problems they face – from the abstract to the ordinary – the mundane to the macabre – the normal to the Para.

My mantra is going to be “Less of me, more of t’other” – I will be leaving the old posts there as they do represent a turning point for me – but for now, let us focus on the world as we perceive it.

MJx

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The title is rather apt, for the introduction and the subject matter.

Last night, having spent the entire day thinking about what topics to cover, I decided it was time for some brain-candy and rented a movie over Xbox Live called “The Crazies”.

I’ve always been interested in horror movies; since I saw the very first Nightmare on Elm Street I’ve been captivated by not just the stories in them, but the way the characters in them react to situations. Plus, we always like to be scared, right?

Well, “The Crazies” was shit. I’d give it 2-stars at most. It tried to be a survival-horror but ended up more like a “Weird shit is happening all around us, we have no clue what’s going on (and nobody elaborated – at all) so let’s grab a gun and try to make it to another town?” movie. There was no emotive recourse at all, the characters, you couldn’t relate to them because they were essentially hollow.

I digress though; whilst watching the movie, it got me thinking about “Terror” – or more rightly, the nature of terror and how we would realistically act when faced with extreme circumstances. Please follow my imaginary example:

A very nasty (and experimental) virus that turns people into zombies has been released and there is a worldwide epidemic. Living has now become a challenge by itself. You need to make it from your home (where you have been quarantined, hoping beyond hope it was just a flu outbreak) to the nearest port where you will be shipped to sea until the infected eventually die out.

Here are your variables. These I am forcing on your imagination to promote limitation:

• There is no cure (that you know of)
• The nearest port is 300 miles away.
• You’re going to have to travel with any other member of your family (that you choose is not infected.)
• Your supplies are very limited – you will need to stop on the way there to restock your supply of gas, food and water.
• There are other survivors trying to survive who will not be as courteous when they search for their supplies.
• There will be survivors on the road; a lot of them will be mentally unstable due to stress.

Now be honest: How would you react if you found yourself in such a situation? I know it is easy to see the better parts of ourselves; where we focus on the way we organise our lives. For example, if you’re thinking along the lines of “Well, me and my family will just drive to Wall Mart, steal what we need and then move on until we get to the port!” then stop and be as honest as you possibly can.

Will all your family fit in the car? If not, is travelling in two or more cars safer? What will you take when you get to Wall Mart? The nature of stealing in itself is a shameful act (or at least it should be...) so add that to your current mental state.

What about survivors you see along the road? Not all of them are going to be lucky and live – not all of them will be friendly... you’re probably going to need to kill a bunch of them and killing a person is not like it is in the computer games. Add more stress onto your already over-stressed mind.

It’s the easy answers, the “oh I will do this and this will happen” that derides from the very “pleasure” of terror. We ride roller-coasters, but we never forget we are strapped in. Rationality provides a comfort-zone from chaos.

Me? I know for a fact that if the situation above were to happen to me, I would not be able to hack it. Fight/flight is irrelevant here, I would make a mistake somewhere along the line, an obvious one, that would result in my demise. And all because I was too stressed out and terrified by the situation to think rationally... but that is just me.

Consider the same scenario, only this time, your walking to your car and somebody jumps out from the shadows and grabs you from behind. Their intentions are unclear, there appearence unexpected. It is easy to say "I'd kick their asses!" but in reality, would you? Or would you be too shocked by the current experience and the future uncertainty to act coherently?

Don’t think “I WILL” act like this... think “WOULD I” act like this... – now isn’t the uncertainty scaring you?

Is that all terror is? An emotional reaction based on the uncertainty of the immediate future? I’m not talking fear here, fear is a powerful emotion to have – terror is debilitating to your thought process. Whilst fear would stop you making the same mistake twice, terror would let you continue repeatedly on the off chance that it might end your current emotional stress.

Question movies and literature too, how characters in a book or movie would react to certain situations; character based traits that are defined not by the individual, but the stereotype said individual encompasses.

For example:

The “Jock” that acts like the alpha-male primate. Willing to kill to protect himself and can amazingly manage to maintain an erection even when his friends around him have died.

The “cute-but-dim cheerleader” who runs into her bedroom closest (the universal hiding place for blonde girls in movies it would seem) and not out the door towards the police station.

One an instance of self-preservation - the other an instance of self-annihilation. Both motivated by literary terror.

Terror is really a fascinating thing. As human beings, we look at it from a distance and we (as curious as we are) wonder what it is like. We even try to emulate it by riding roller-coasters or visiting spooky and haunted houses in the dead of night. But as I said before – we ride roller-coasters knowing we are buckled in and we visit haunted houses to “investigate” with groups.

As old an emotion as it is and it is used today against us as weapons; to spread doubt and uncertainty amongst the masses of the world. Is rationality its opposite?

What terrifies you?