Family (doesnt) Matters

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Im thinking of dis-owning my older brother. Ive already kinda done it, like if people ask me "Oh how many siblings do you have" my usual reply is "Oh, just three sisters!" - but not out of spite before, more because I hardly ever talk to/see him that I just forget... but now I kinda want to make it a habit-forming crutch.

A nice little snide dig of my own.

Im aware its petty. I care to the sum of zero.

What has my brother done to gall me so? Nothing - he is just the perfect douche. He has the money. He has the car. He has the children and the "nice-guy" award from the community. Heck - somebody has got to hate him, might as well be his own brother! Am I right?

Fathers day today. My dad wanted a radio. He needed a new one so talked it up for the entire month. I SOMEHOW work out his coded "Buy me a radio for fathers day!" messages and all is well. That radio cost me £50.

My brother brings him a nice framed picture of him looking happily into the camera whilst carrying his two children - sunset behind them, possibly heading for his ass. And suddenly, my gift isnt as shiny or as wanted as it had been.

This isnt just a thing about gifts though.

"Im going to run the london marathon!" He tells my dad.

"Did you hear that?! My son is going to run the london marathon! Wow!"

"Yes! And im getting a new car!" He continues - and so follows a two hour long conversatioon about engine-mechanics and mileage to the gallon - and im sitting there looking at them, nodding my head and im thinking "Yeah, I have no idea".

I guess I should have just left the room so they could get on with their incest-fest.

I even got the "Why cant you be more like your brother-speech after he left.

Yes, im a pathetic jerk - I dont give a shit. You know what? Some days its all I can do but cry. Not that I have cried lately.

yeah, I think im going to revert to my 16 year old self and be all "What?! I have a brother!? Since when!" denile.

Yes. Denile. I like it.