Fail.

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So I didnt win the lottery - which means I have to abstain from smoking and alcohol for at least another week. Although, having the morale high-ground ( aka the I-Dont-Drink-Or-Smoke-So-Im-Obviously-Better-Than-You-TUDE ) is fun... a little.

Ok, I lie, I want to get drunk and smoke until my lungs stop functioning and my liver starts to bleed out my anus but I cant afford it! Dammit! ... at least, until I win the lottery... or rob a bank/shop/faceless corperation... which I probably wont end up doing... probably.
Like that guy I read about in the news years ago, when he heard he only had a week to live, he went out and robbed a bank for the heck of it. He didnt hurt anybody. He just decided to rob a bank to see how it felt.

My issues with self-sabotage aside; money is becomming an issue. When is it ever not though huh? And it doesnt help that whenever I got to the bank, the very attractive cashier smiles wryly and says:

"Did you know YOU qualify for a loan for X amount at 8% interest APR?"

"Me? HA! Have you actually seen my credit rating?!"

"...Yes... we're your bank - but its just a small loan!"

He might as well have added a "lighen up baby!" to the end of that. It would have given him a little more character... make him seem more of a banker in the 1990's. When loans were given out like opium in Iran.

Still, its tempting, to take a loan and just... y'know... fuck off to another country. But knowing my luck, they'd hire the local bailifs of Botswana to collect my straw and mud hut. And i'd be standing there like a local screaming "NO! NOT MY RED CROSS STOVE!"

I digress though - I have no money to live a frivolous lifestyle and im not getting any younger.

What to do hm?